Waking

This blog is to reflect on the memoir Waking by Matthew Sanford.  The book is a memoir of his life and how he moved on after suffering a terrible car accident at a young age.  Before going too in depth about the memoir itself, I do need to say that this was very hard for me to read for multiple reasons. First, it was incredibly hard for me to become attached to journey Matthew is telling in his memoir.  So many of the experiences he is describing and went through are foreign to me.  I have never had any accident that has caused serious mental or physical harm or damage to me.  Lord willing I never will.  I have also never had an out of body experience. I also have never had an out of body experience that is described so vividly during the time in the hospital after the crash.  It is an entirely unknown concept to me in how that would even take place.  I have read other accounts of similar events, but none in the detail as in this memoir. Comprehending some of those challenges that he faced are close to impossible for me just because of the life experiences I have had and how they are so vastly different than the ones Matthew had.  Especially in such a formative point in human life, the gap is still something I am thinking about.

            With all caveat out of the way, everything now should still be taken with a grain of salt just because the likelihood that I am off on these connections is very possible.

            While there is so much disconnect between myself and Matthew and the experiences he had, there are some that we both find as a middle ground.  That is the internal feeling and benefit of yoga. While being in the positions that we are in, the physical benefits are completely different.  But I feel that there is a connection between the mental benefits.  One of the things that Matthew stresses throughout the memoir is the separation of his body and his mind.  Due to paralysis, mentally he has not connected to that area of his body. If anything he has purposely put it aside and avoided it in order to continue living.  Yoga then, is what allows him to connect with his body as a whole again and to feel good about his body as a whole. It creates a peace. Including for the paralyzed parts. In an awkward connection, yoga personally does the same thing.  While I am now trying to bring peace to a vast chasm that has been placed in my mind, I am still trying to achieve peace.  The ability to focus on something so small in modern society, the self, is peaceful and has healing properties.  Knowing that I have the ability to slip the bonds of what society says, and come into what I say, is something that brings peace to me.  Honestly it is the reason for the physical benefits I feel with yoga I believe.  Coming to terms with myself, in a metaphysical sense, heals the scars and wounds inflicted by my physical body creates by attempting to conform to a mold it does not fit.

            Again, this is just the musing of a solitary individual who is still unsure if he fully comprehends what exactly the memoir is attempting to convey.